So asks the title of a cool, interactive NYT feature that includes a quiz on which dog breeds are most inbred. Definitely worth a gift link.
I didn’t do so hot on the quiz. In part because I didn’t realize just how insanely inbred purebred breeds are:
Sex with your sibling is called incest and is illegal in almost all 50 states. Sex with your sibling or other close relations, if you are a dog, is called inbreeding, and inbreeding is part of the practice of pure-breeding dogs.
Breeders are not typically mating siblings, though it is not prohibited by the American Kennel Club and is not unheard of. Any mating within a closed gene pool of candidates will do, as far as breeders are concerned. But according to research published by a team from the University of California, Davis, and Wisdom Health Genetics in Finland, purebred dogs have, on average, a “coefficient of inbreeding” of 0.25, the same number you get when two siblings have a child. This number indicates the probability that two individuals will share two alleles from a common ancestor, like a parent or grandparent. And this number — 0.25 — is a problem.
I found the way we had changed their body shapes so decidedly for the worse, even fairly recently, quite distressing.
So, too, are the consequences: the occurrence of several hundred health disorders related to genetics or to adherence to the standards set by breed groups that have emerged since dog pure-breeding took off in the 19th century. These include changes to anatomy so drastic that they affect reproduction (the bulldog’s head is so big that the overwhelming majority cannot be birthed naturally), respiration (the pug’s small skull leads to a constellation of abnormalities that make breathing difficult) and recreation (the German shepherd and other large-breed dogs are prone to debilitating hip dysplasia).
German shepherds used to have straight backs
A German shepherd in 1958.
Erich Andres/United Archives, via Getty Images
Modern shepherds have more pronounced slopes
A German shepherd at the 2013 Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.
Fred R. Conrad/The New York Times
The U.C. Davis research, led by Danika Bannasch, a veterinary geneticist, also found that the more inbred a breed was, the more inherited disease the breed had. (Remember the number they found, 0.25? Healthy rates of genetic similarity occur with a coefficient of inbreeding below 0.05.) This finding aligns with what anyone who has taken biology already knows: When you limit the breeding population, the frequency of potentially unhealthy mutations increases, as deleterious but recessive alleles become prominent.
When we breed to a type, genetic diversity is lost. Now we have dozens of small- and large-scale studies showing the inevitable results of inbreeding with dogs: smaller litter sizes, fewer surviving newborns and even decreasing life spans. A large 2019 study found, controlling for size, that purebred dogs lived over a year less than mixed-breed dogs did. As a society, in other words, we’re trading a year of their lives for the ability to choose their shape, size and color…
Pugs used to have more prominent snouts
A pug in 1915.
Imagno/Getty Images
Modern pugs have smushed, round faces
A pug at the 2013 Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.
Fred R. Conrad/The New York Times
…
Bull terriers had more typical snout bridges
A bull terrier in 1949.
Fox Photos/Getty Images
Modern bull terriers have more football-shaped heads
A bull terrier at the 2013 Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.
Fred R. Conrad/The New York Times
As a species, we are so attached to the idea that we should be able to buy a dog who looks however we like — flat of face or fancy of coat — that we are willing to overlook the consequences for the species, for the breeds and often for the very sweet, exuberant pup we add to our families.
We have a chance to redeem ourselves. Right now, the American Kennel Club has no constraints on inbreeding (even as it encourages breeders to remember that “crippling or fatal” hereditary diseases may result). But I am not counting on the American Kennel Club. Instead, we could make outcrosses — the introduction of different genetic material to breeds — the norm. Research looking at dog genotypes and phenotypes has found several putative genes associated with longevity in dogs. What if we pursued robust health, instead of breed standards based on appearance, by investigating and working with those genes? If we loosen our grip on the idea that dogs are consumer objects to be designed and from whom we can demand certain behaviors, we will have a chance to meet dogs again on their own terms.
The day after I read this, I read about a dog sperm bank right here in my hometown of Cary,NC:
For 30 years, Gail Boyd has been breeding whippets in western Wake County to pass their affectionate nature and elegant look down through each bloodline.
The British sighthounds look like small greyhounds, come in different colors and love to relax beside their owners. They can also run up to 35 mph.
“They’re just the most perfect breed,” Boyd said “They’re quiet, clean, fairly healthy. They’re just an all-around, wonderful family dog and great with kids.”
After each litter, Boyd decides which males she wants to collect semen from later. When they are between 1 and 3 years old, she takes the dogs to Infinity Canine in Cary, the largest canine-semen-storage facility on the East Coast.
The practice is a delicate and expensive one, but Boyd, the owner of the Town & Country Animal Hospital in Apex, knows how beneficial it can be: 111 of her whippets over the years have become champions, their health being a factor in their success…
You have to have a sense of humor when you’re in the business of collecting and storing dog sperm, Parker said.
Every stud, or male dog, is different. Some require a level of trust with the technicians collecting the semen, while others just need the presence of a female dog, even if they don’t breed with her.
Marvel, a demure, tan and white Borzoi, greets the studs and their owners at Infinity Canine and often serves as “temptress,” said Parker, who owns seven Borzois and a Brittany spaniel. One of her Borzois just had a litter, with seven puppies going to show and performance homes and three others to pet homes.
Parker and co-owner Amy Burleson-Thompson are registered veterinary technicians while Gina Hartless is shipping manager. Together, they’re called “The Sperm Girls.”
Recently, they helped facilitate two breedings from sperm collected in 1994 and 1997. On Wednesday, Hartless was preparing to ship sperm to Germany.
When frozen, dog sperm can last hundreds of years.
Some breeds like French and English bulldogs, pugs and Boston terriers have small bodies, big heads and narrow hips that make mating and delivery difficult. Semen collected from male dogs is used to inseminate the bitches, or female dogs, in heat, who will later deliver by c-sections.
But even dogs that can procreate normally sometimes need assistance with natural breeding. Some aren’t sure what to do, especially if it’s their first time.
“It’s a very unnatural thing that we’re doing but we’re trying to make it as natural as possible,” Burleson-Thompson said.
My favorite part of the whole story…
How does it work?
“How we get (the sperm) is exactly the way you think,” Parker said.
So, what exactly do you do at work? Oh, you know, masturbate male dogs all day.
Fully Myelinated 
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